My name is Sam, and I want to welcome you to the Teen’s and Kid’s Corner. The purpose of this page is to help you recognize that while the loss of a loved one is a devestating experience to suffer through, you are not alone. I will be sharing my personal experiences dealing with my life, the losses that I have endured, and how I have been able to overcome those losses, as well as respond and communicate with anyone that needs help or someone to talk to.
The pain cuts like a dagger, and the perception that society has placed on the male gender to need to be a “Man” about situations like this just adds to the suffering. I was taught to “suck it up” and “play through the pain”.
My mind has been at constant war with my heart since the day that we lost him, and any time one gains ground on the other it feels like that area is replaced with emptiness.
I’m a man, and that’s supposed to mean something. I’m supposed to be strong and not show emotion when something bad happens. Actually, the only acceptable emotion that I can show is anger. As a young male (especially an athlete) growing up, that is all you ever see. Your favorite Center-fielder strikes out and snaps his bat like a toothpick over his knee. The game winning three-pointer is made over the star gaurd on your hometown team, and as he walks off the court he smashes his water bottle on the ground and uses his fist to take out the disappointment on the wall in the locker room. You are bred from the beginning to learn to convert all of your pain, frustration, and suffering into anger. Show any other emotion, and you are labled as weak.
We aren’t taught that the negativity we experince can actually be worked with and refined into positivity. Negativity is like a piece coal, when the pressure is applied the right way, it turns into something positive just like a diamond.
As a child, we are afraid of the dark because with darkness comes the uncertainty of the unknown. The only way we overcome this fear is by recognizing that the unkown isn’t actually that unkown. We stop pulling the sheets over our head, we open our eyes, but with experience we learn how to deal with the darkness.
Yeah, you might stub your toe on the door when you get up in the middle of the night, but the pain teaches you to watch where you step the next time you pass through. You discover that even though a small night light doesn’t seem like it is doing much during the day; when the night comes, that small light helps you to feel more secure and illuminates the room. This is an important life lesson that I still hold close today, even though I am 21… When the darkness surrounds you, it is easier to see the light. Simply put; when life gets tough, it becomes easier to appreciate the little things that you have been blessed with and don’t really notice when life is going great.